Synopsis
A young gay filmmaker who shares a Beirut apartment with his mother and pet dog attempts to reconstruct his identity by renovating his bedroom. But as the Syrian construction workers come and go in the freshly embattled household, new questions, old arguments and unexpected passions get stirred. Venturing further, the filmmaker contacts his estranged father to ask about the Argentinian passport he once had as a little boy. After years of separation, father and son embark on a journey to South America in search of family ties. An intimate essay about the meaning of masculinity and a young man’s search for acceptance across two continents.
A word from Tënk
Anthony Chidiac’s autobiographical experimental essay, shot almost entirely within the confines of the filmmaker’s bedroom and narrated by a female voice-over, paints the uncertainties of a young man coming to terms with his identity, sexuality and fears. As Chidiac wrestles with the idea of what it means to be a “real” man in Lebanon, his quiet introspection eloquently questions the value system of the Lebanese society, where society’s gaze takes precedence by leaving those living on the margins feeling ostracized. Existing under the shadows of fearless uncles who fought during the civil war and a religious mother who blatantly disapproves of his sexuality, accentuate the filmmaker’s alienation and loneliness. The fixed frames of Chidiac’s camera intimately encapsulate the closed off spaces, the camera is often pointed out onto the horizon; moments where Chidiac allows himself to come up for air. Freedom through exile, seen by his family members as the only viable solution from a life of shame, is actualized by a trip the filmmaker takes to Argentina with his neglectful father, a way to secure Chidiac a new citizenship and a possible future abroad. Moments of reserved tension between the two give way to a final scene of the young man aboard a train, staring ahead in search of something new in unknown landscapes. This courageously personal film, highlights a topic that remains one of controversy not only in Lebanon but for the region, where exposing one’s self comes from a place of necessity needed to be pursued, despite the distress and the heavy price that it might ensue.
Marlene Edoyan
Programmer, RIDM
